Medical Marveler Gifts

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

"My insurance will pay for a new hip, but I really need better glasses and a hearing aid."

'I donated my body to science..'

Medicine's Myriad Mysteries - "Cold?", "Muscle strain?"...

2021

"His first out-of-body experience."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"The first one's just a warning."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

Juggler and Illusionist

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."