Miracle Marveler Gifts

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'Ask Jesus to stop multiplying bread and fishes...it's the plates what we need now.'

'Crowd control has never been easier since this Moses guy joined up.'

'Moses, I'm going to have to fine you for failing to get an Environmental Impact Statement before parting the Red Sea.'

Sea of Galilee - Please Do Not Walk On The Water.

'This gives me a great idea for a water park.'

'All I really wanted was a swim!'

'Jesus! Have you been playing with the taps again?'

'Who the heck has parted the Red Sea?!'

Walking on Water

Aisle 3 Loaves and fishes

"But before the complimentary buffet, I'd like a few minutes to talk about religion."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Juggler and Illusionist

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

"I don't want to take this meeting off track, but... isn't Stonehenge amazing? Seriously, who did that?"

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

The Department of Emerging Technologies.

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

'I donated my body to science..'

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

The Quantum Mechanic...

A bird pulls the thread from a magic carpet.

"Do you hear what I hear?"

"They ruin the landscape!"

"And do you also promise to be LinkedIn for life, facebook friends forever and to stay off Tinder till you're burnt to a cinder?"

Schrödinger's cat.

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

Tugboat pulls along a rubber duck.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'