Medical Marvel Maven Gifts

"You just made medical history Mr Burnside. Your're the first one ever struck by lightning while on a bed pan."

2021

"His first out-of-body experience."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."