Medicinal Maven Gifts

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Muscles

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Like that?"

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

The Canary in the Coal Mine

The end is near

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

'The highest court in the land.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

Vaccine hurdles

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Where does it hurt?'