Medical Marvels Gifts

'She's going to need a prescription for light-headedness, She fainted when I told her how much her meds cost,'

'Anything else besides shortness of breath?'

"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."

'Great news! We found a donor body!'

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

Mammogram

"The results of your MRI show that you're very claustrophobic.''

Paramedic to nurse: 'You'd better clear out some rooms. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'

"Alimentary, Dr. Watson, alimentary."

Seamans' Hospital

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'I'm not a guru. I just came up here until the ebola scare goes away.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

"You would like to report a medical emergence and you have an artificial hip joint, two artificial knee joints, a pacemaker and a metal plate in your head? Well, then please call the breakdown service, sir."

"I've given blood about 20 times. . ."

Cuba increases mass vaccination

Black fungus increases deaths in India

TAP TAP TAP TAP

Humanitarian Medical Work

Very tired doctor falls asleep on patient.

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

'You're lactose intolerant.'

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"It'll definitely need operating on. I'll get my lawyer to contact yours."

No, Mr. Fusco, a positive result on your blood test is not a positive thing. It's a negative thing. The fact that I know that is why I get the big bucks. ? ?

2021

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'Your reflexes are still good!'