Medication Enthusiast Gifts

"My drugs are interacting!"

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

R Prescriptions

"Of course they're not habit forming, and I should know - I've been taking them for twenty years,"

"You're on THAT many prescription meds? Then to save time, just list everything that's NOT wrong with you."

'Wait a minute? You fill a boat full of animals to mate and then you use all the E.D. pills for yourself? Now, what am I supposed to do?'

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

'The doctor said, 'I had to take a tablet every day of my life'. I'm worried, he only gave me seven!'

'I hate it when they wince as I explain the side effects.'

'I'll be glad when we switch to electronic prescriptions. Then, I will discard my chicken scratchings-to-drug formulary translation handbook.'

PHARMACY, 'Here you are, sir -- don't operate heavy machinery or watch television.'

"Now that you've taken all the drugs that start with 'A' I'd like to start you on the 'Bs'."

"I don't have the heart to tell him he's just a stool softener."

"Just call me...Mr. Saturday Night!"

"You might wanna lay off the Generics."

Standup Pharmacist

Meds Toast

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Newt sale

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Little doctor.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

London GPs could become an endangered species.

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."