Pharmaceutical Aficionado Gifts

Talk to your doctor about Placebitrex...the pill that does whatever you think you need it to.

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'I had to confirm that you had prescribed a placebo, Doctor. But when I said it was an extra-strength placebo, he was pleased.'

'Side effects may include....'

"My doctor pooled all my medications into one convenient tablet."

'My portfolio is doing well after they injected it with the right combination of pharmaceuticals.'

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

'One out of two doctors recommends this prescription.'

'Jerry, the Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

Drugs Firms Axe Jobs.

'It's not quite ready. Come back in 15 minutes.'

Be Healthy

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Fitness guru.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

Medical Examinations.

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

Pediatrics: Anatomy

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

Medical Supplies

"In my workout this morning I hit a new personal best, but on a seasonally adjusted basis, my numbers actually fell."

A tessellation of running figures.