Pharmacy Aficionados Gifts

Reached prescription donut hole.

The over-the-counter versions

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

'The $39.95 is for the prescription, sir, and the $7 surcharge is a little something for our handwriting expert.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

Medical Supplies

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

Side Effects

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

'Here are our hot new drugs for fall.'

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'