Pharmacy Aficionados Gifts

Reached prescription donut hole.

The over-the-counter versions

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

'The $39.95 is for the prescription, sir, and the $7 surcharge is a little something for our handwriting expert.'

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

Medical Supplies

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

Side Effects

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

'I have a lot of stock in Zorex Drugs, and I only want medicine that they make.'

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

From now on, the rats that get steroids don't have to run the maze.