Pharmaceutical Enthusiast Gifts

Pharmacy: 'It's a real miracle drug! It hasn't been recalled once by the FDA in 20 years on the market.'

"We came up with a pill that cures everything...but I'm warning you, it's gonna be expensive."

"Well of course, he's still in clinical trials. But he looks very promising."

'Medication guidelines'

"Poor results I'm afraid." "I don't understand! I paid a fortune for this trial!"

'I can't think of the brand name, but it's the one that has those disgusting TV commercials.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"It's a new kind of pill: It takes you!"

'I took one look at the prescription price and ruptured a blood vessel!'

"This is wonderful. It will help millions of people."

Comparing Drug Side Effects

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'Gentlemen, today's agenda - merger with Viagra'

"This pill is the only thing that will cure you. The good news is that it's up to you whether or not you take it orally."

You take'm through the nose, you pay through the nose.

'On the plus side we are creating new markets because of the side effects!'

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

'Don't worry. All you need is a revolutionary miracle drug that will be the medical discovery of the century. I'll see what I can whip up.'

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'It's a promising new drug with few side effects...and I'm sorry you find their TV ads offensive.'

"Would you like to supersize that?"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.