Addiction Warrior Gifts

"Go on!"

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

Pinocchio's Second Realization

The Cougher

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

That party went well.

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Flu vaccine.

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

'You have a fauxbia.'

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'You're not paranoid, due to terrorism, feeling anxious all the time is the 'new normal'.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

Bring your problems to work day.

'No we don't have any fly vaccine yet - how about something for anxiety. . . we have plenty of that.'

Doctor's house visit "What's made him worse since I phoned Doctor was worrying about the cost of a house call"

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

Being-convinced your plants always know what you're thinking phobia.

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

"You must try to relax more"