Addiction Warrior Gifts

"Go on!"

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

Pinocchio's Second Realization

The Cougher

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

That party went well.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

Flu vaccine.

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'You have a fauxbia.'

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'You're not paranoid, due to terrorism, feeling anxious all the time is the 'new normal'.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

'No we don't have any fly vaccine yet - how about something for anxiety. . . we have plenty of that.'

Bring your problems to work day.

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

"You must try to relax more"

Being-convinced your plants always know what you're thinking phobia.

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

Doctor's house visit "What's made him worse since I phoned Doctor was worrying about the cost of a house call"

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."