Pharma Warriors Gifts

'We have a tournament to see which drug reps get to see the doctors.'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

Hell's Angels

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

Victorious Vaccination Campaign

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

"Health professionals prepare syringes for another intense vaccination day."

'I exercise to stay healthy so I can keep working to pay for health insurance until I drop dead.'

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

If you thought that congress was going to work to drive down prescription drugs costs. . . dream on.

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping breakfast, and jumping to conclusions doesn't count."

The B1 Vitamin Bomber

"A good rule of thumb is, if you can't lift it, don't eat it."

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

"We at Megacorp are very supportive of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazcylone' to enhance the experience."

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

"My friend's in long-term hospital care. Got any Get Rich Quick cards?"

Emergency room notice - 'Wait hours, or go home'

"Which celebrities do this type of yoga?"

"I put my right foot in, I put my right foot out, I did the hokey pokey and I threw my back out!"

"I'm no longer afraid of doctors. It�s the medical insurance men that frighten me!"

The Ten Resolutions