Vet School Teacher Gifts

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

'What the hell kind of veterinarian are you going to make...'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Dog wearing a cone

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

Know your dog - The brain.

"You want a second opinion,,,You're an idiot,"

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

'No need to shout.'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"It's mouseborn."

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'I'm not supposed to lick myself either.'

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'What makes you say the medication I prescribed for Fido is causing side effects?' 'Meow.'

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'