Vet School Faculty Gifts

'Dean, we've been looking over your plans and curriculum...'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

Cat Scan

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

"You want a second opinion,,,You're an idiot,"

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'No need to shout.'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"It's mouseborn."

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'I'm not supposed to lick myself either.'

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

"Inside you there are two wolves..."

Dog leaving operating theatre in a hurry with a bone in his mouth

Bovine Proctology Graduation

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

Grumpy Hamster

"Your test results are in. You've got Irritable Growl Syndrome."

'Aren't you glad we gave her a rabies vaccination this year?'

"I have a terrible problem with a licking myself where I shouldn't?"

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

'Here, takes these...we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

'Ear mites!!!'

Hamster IV

'He needs counselling . . . he wants to be a vet.'

"He's a hypochondriac."

'Doctor, why do you keep saying 'Whoa' to my dog?'