Teaching Enthusiast Gifts

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

I will study my speling words...

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

U of Debt

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Lessons in Prehistory.

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Children's education