Teaching Aficionados Gifts

'Being a teacher is hard: My students have an attention span of about three seconds...'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

U of Debt

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

A Preschool of Fish

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'At first it's just kindergarten, but then mission creep takes over and you're in college.'

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

Abacus.

University Book Store.

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

The History Teacher

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

Ethics ethics.

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'