Curriculum Aficionados Gifts

"Good morning class. Are you ready to continue expanding your intellectual property?"

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

U of Debt

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

University Book Store.

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'He was very big in Vienna.'

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"

High School

"Pavlov's Blog."

George Santayana

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

"Son, I've asked Mr. Puffer to instruct you on the finer points of classical as your new tooter."

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'