Education Aficionado Gifts

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'I failed history again. I guess those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.'

'I never heard of anyone pulling a muscle while thinking.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

Dr Blimber's Academy

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Ms Flanders loves teaching. If any students love learning, apply to room 349.

Schoolmaster says 'know', schoolboy thinks 'no'.

'50% of my class can't do percentages and the remaining 60% are worse than me...'

'I'm your teacher - you can't fire me.'

#2 pencil parent is a #2 dad.

Pompous young oxford man asking someone whether he was 'at either university'

"Is external fertilisation when you do it outdoors?"

Spelling Bee at Ridgefield Country Day School.

Lord Robert Winston

Principal, Attitude Adjuster.

'Mummy's going on the game to pay your school fees, Toby.'

'I've found our loophole. When he turns 18, he's no longer a child. THEN we can leave him behind.'

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

"I was born to be a teacher. I have red ink."

'So that's how Hugh Hefner became a millionaire!'

High School

'This book report is as yet unrated....'

'My politically correct parents say there are no answers, only options.'

School Leavers

Final Exams Today

University Book Store.

"I tried talking to the principal about what I’d be teaching next semester, but he kept changing the subject."

'A sinkhole ate my homework...?'

Policeman with a combined drug and obesity test to headmaster: 'Your pupils are dilated.'

"Son, I've asked Mr. Puffer to instruct you on the finer points of classical as your new tooter."

Math Class. Rm 217. I don't know how many time I've failed a math test.

I'd like to take advantage of the school's early-retirement program.

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"