Educational Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson, but when you've become as excellent of a teacher as you are, you've forfeited your right to retire.'

'I didn't feel answers were necessary. All the questions seemed rhetorical.'

Ethics ethics.

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

'It says, the board HAS agreed to allocate those extra funds you requested.'

DNA Testing

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

You need to learn punctuation. I'ts, important later! 'in life'

'Teaching, reading, writing, and arithmetic sounds like a good idea. Let me run it by an educational focus group.'

"Broadband's down, technician's off sick, literacy software's kaput. I've had to give them books."

"What about business - which branch is that?"

"Private school. You can tell by the ties."

'Am I glad to get that straightened out. Now, I can go home and explain it to my dad.'

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

"I need you to line up by attention span."

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."

'Somehow, we must slow down her homework output...'

Thoughts on Education.

'Very impressive conflict resolution experience! I see you taught the third grade.'

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

"Let's see...I believe a computer will be available for your class six weeks from Friday between ten and eleven in the morning."

"I worry that more infrastructure spending will mean more schools!"

"We've found the most MARVELOUS tutor who's teaching Timmy how to be 'normal working class' for his grammar school application..."

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

"Second grade, second grade, second grade, my teacher wants me to repeat second grade!"

Abacus.

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

'No wonder I'm failing math. I'm just no good with numbers. Even when I dialed the math homework helpline, I got the wrong number.'

Teacher.

'I just know this lesson is going to be embarrassing.'

'Remember when you said learning can be fun? When exactly does the fun start?'

'Quick! Turn to the history channel! My book report is on!'

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

I WILL NOT COMMENT ON MS. STEMPEL'S WART