Parent-teacher Pro Gifts

As the summer drew to a close, Mrs. Bank's back-to-school nightmares progressed from a class of her worst students, to a class of their parents.

City Zoo: Day Care

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"They grow up so fast."

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

A mother and baby elephant

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."