Teacher Parent Gifts

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"In fact, the work's been so good that we question whether it's Will's own."

"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

Obama in schools.

'She's taking Chinese and algebra this semester. Go on, Francine, speak a little algebra for them...'

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

'It's not my fault. Bad grades wouldn't matter if I had been born rich.'