Parent-teacher Conferences Gifts

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Mommy and daddy asked me to give you this sick note. They can't make it tonight.'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

"Your daughter is always tired, struggles to keep up and doesn't respond well to authority. Anyway, thanks for coming in, mom and dad."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"I wouldn't worry too much. She blitzed the field in the three legged race."

"SUch stupid answers on this assignment! You should have helped him a little!"

'This is so old-school.'

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"I guess they were all at the school board meeting protesting sex ed and critical race theory."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"The A B C's are a mystery to him, but he's very solid on the letter F."

"Tell my mom my mistakes -- she does my work."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

'All I know is when it's the 'birds and bees' it's about sex; and when it's the 'bulls and bears' it's about money.'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"In fact, the work's been so good that we question whether it's Will's own."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'