Parent-teacher Conference Fan Gifts

'It's a subpoena from the PTA.'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"In fact, the work's been so good that we question whether it's Will's own."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

Obama in schools.

'She's taking Chinese and algebra this semester. Go on, Francine, speak a little algebra for them...'

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

'It's not my fault. Bad grades wouldn't matter if I had been born rich.'

Our staff are very pleased, she's one of the brightest in her class. (What do you expect? I'm a genius!) I don't know where she gets it from...

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"