Taxpaying Comrade Gifts

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

Stimulus bust

Budget reaction.

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Maybe we can't fool all the people all the time, but we sure can tax all the people all the time.'

'If the meek inherit the earth, imagine the capital gains tax.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'Don't you hate undergoing peer review in these high school chemistry labs?'

Inside Jim Flaherty's office.

"It's not fair that we have to pay taxes on something we don't have - last year's income."

'I feel sure I'm paying too little tax, who do I see about it?'

irs, 'You were wrong -- they WEREN'T more afraid of me than I was of them.'

'This rebate check isn't big enough for both of us.'

'About this obscene material found in your desk.'

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

'I'm being audited! Quick, everyone into the tax shelter!'

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'