Tax Procrastinator Gifts

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

'It's our council tax bill!'

"Avoidance is a strategy we use to deal with fear, Mr. Bartwistle - or in your case, paying taxes."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

'I said you needed to keep good business records...'

Spot suffered from a rare case of reverse lycanthropy, where every full moon he would turn into a human and spend the night eating spaghetti, watching tv, and, like, doing taxes and stuff.

'I didn't pay my taxes because I hate to start something I can't finish.'

'I phoned the fire station and they just laughed and hung up.'

'Any nice self catering nudist camps in there?'

'The rates office was closed. . . so I bought some new clubs instead.'

"If I pay my back taxes I won't have enough cash to buy lottery tickets."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

Tax Collector

"Carpe De Revenue!"

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Al, The Go-From Guy

New Improved I.R.S.

Osborne's Tax Cuts