Tax Time Warrior Gifts

'The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes!'

'Cold weather doesn't bother me - I just think about April 15th and start to sweat.'

"It's simple, but it works for us!"

'Well, I hope you're satisfied -- I spent all afternoon going over your return, and I can't find a thing wrong with it!'

"I'm a overachiever. I always give 100 percent."

"Dad's really sweating. Was he working out?"

'This is the third year in a row I'm being audited. Might this have something to do with the fact that I'm your ex-husband?'

Tax Collector

"No wonder I suffer from separation Anxiety!"

'IRS Help Hot Line. While you're on hold for the next 23 hours, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

Grown Men Don't Cry

Tax Refund: "This think looked a lot bigger from a distance. . ."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

New Improved I.R.S.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'