Tax Paperwork Warrior Gifts

'New simple easy-to-use tax forms ... Leaves another taxpayer simple-minded.'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

Dr. Kapuchnik, I feel like there are powerful, sinister, unseen forces conspiring to do me harm, even though I haven't done anything wrong. Does this condition have a name? It's called April 15th, Al. Tax day.

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

IRS Audit Section

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

The IRS emptied my pouch.

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Tax Collector

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

Look at it this way, you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway!

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

People being buried under enormous falling tax credit forms.

The Accountant Husband

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'