Tax Day Warrior Gifts

"You fool! Don't you know it's the day after tax day?"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

The IRS emptied my pouch.

Dr. Kapuchnik, I feel like there are powerful, sinister, unseen forces conspiring to do me harm, even though I haven't done anything wrong. Does this condition have a name? It's called April 15th, Al. Tax day.

Yes, they are all dependants."

IRS Audit Section

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

"Whadya know, we're being audited."

Tax Collector

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

Man posting letter to the IRS.

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

IRS. April 15th is the deadlie for filing your return, not a "best if used by" date.

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

Look at it this way, you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway!

"60 Fortune 500 companies paid no federal taxes last year. . . meanwhile, thanks to a lack of funding, I no longer get dessert in my meals on wheels."

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

'I'm your fantasy from the U.S. Treasury Department.'

"Here are all of my dependents."

'Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax...' '..Not having to pay it.'

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."