Tax Day Gifts

"We're trying to put the fun back into filing taxes."

'Cold weather doesn't bother me - I just think about April 15th and start to sweat.'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

Tax Stop.

'Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax...' '..Not having to pay it.'

There is not much left after deductions and taxes, is there, Rodney?

'Whenever the Government proposes a new source of revenue, it always turns out to be me!'

"The average person finds 10 to 25 coins under home furniture every year, but you haven't reported any."

"Asleep for 30 years? A likely story, Van Winkle!"

"My psychiatrist advised me to pay taxes quarterly. That way my seething resentment is spread evenly over a year."

"King Midas is upset about turning hi daughter into gold, but he's inconsolable having to turn 50% of her over the capital gains tax."

"Here are all of my dependents."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"Can you hack into the IRS and give me a bigger refund?"

"60 Fortune 500 companies paid no federal taxes last year. . . meanwhile, thanks to a lack of funding, I no longer get dessert in my meals on wheels."

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.

"Despite your good intentions, you failed to report it as income!"

IRS: A Penny Saved is a Penny Taxable.

"Remember, if I blink three times, then run for it."

Man posting letter to the IRS.

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

Save the World - Save Your Credit Rating

"Woohoo! I can deduct the bribe for the tax inspector!"

"Whadya know, we're being audited."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"We're now taxing your intellectual property."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

"Cheetah more than friend. Cheetah dependent."

"What? I filed our taxes online and now I'm celebrating."

"Today, we will talk about your phony numbers. We will not talk about the I.R.S. having too many cooks!"

Tax Forum

Yes, they are all dependants."