April 15 - Tax Day Gifts

IRS, 'You were wrong -- they WEREN'T more afraid of me than I was of them.'

'With all the bailouts, we're strapped for cash. How'd you like your refund in lottery tickets?'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

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"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Clown on bike.

Here and There Trays

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

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Fast food. Even faster food

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.