Tax Paperwork Trickster Gifts

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

Panama Papers Scandal

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

'It's tax avoidance crackdown avoidance.'

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

Money laundering.

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

'I made my fortune the old fashioned way - concealing it from the government.'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

Accountant's Awards - "Our next award is for 'Tax Loophole of the Year'..."

"Is that before or after tax?"

"Chris, find a safe and fast way into lucrative tax heavens!"

'I wanted a few words about your tax return - have I called at an inconvenient time?'

'I've found an Inheritance Tax loophole!' - Immortality.

Small Business Advisor - Dealing with the taxman.