Tax Paperwork Trickster Gifts

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

I've found a loophole in your loophole

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

Panama Papers Scandal

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

'It's tax avoidance crackdown avoidance.'

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

Money laundering.

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

'I made my fortune the old fashioned way - concealing it from the government.'

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

Accountant's Awards - "Our next award is for 'Tax Loophole of the Year'..."

"Is that before or after tax?"

"Chris, find a safe and fast way into lucrative tax heavens!"

'I wanted a few words about your tax return - have I called at an inconvenient time?'

'I've found an Inheritance Tax loophole!' - Immortality.

'I.R.S short form.'

Small Business Advisor - Dealing with the taxman.