Payment Procrastinator Gifts

'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

Serious Putty

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

Good luck in your A Levels.

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Studying and technology

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

Invaders from Planet Manava.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Is your homework finished? It's almost a snow day. No way

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

Kid about report on alternative fuels being due today: 'I just couldn't summon up the energy to do it.'

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/