Charging Procrastinator Gifts

'Sorry I'm late, Fred. I forgot to plug in the car.'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

Serious Putty

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

Housewife: Out of Order.

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Studying and technology

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I put Wilson on your project and last I heard he was all over it!'

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'You didn't practice last night,did you?'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Kid about report on alternative fuels being due today: 'I just couldn't summon up the energy to do it.'