Update Procrastinator Gifts

"Your computer's software is old. Even by my standards,

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

Serious Putty

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Studying and technology

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I put Wilson on your project and last I heard he was all over it!'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'You didn't practice last night,did you?'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Kid about report on alternative fuels being due today: 'I just couldn't summon up the energy to do it.'

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'