Project Procrastinator Gifts

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'I put Wilson on your project and last I heard he was all over it!'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

Serious Putty

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

Good luck in your A Levels.

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Studying and technology

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Is your homework finished? It's almost a snow day. No way

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'You didn't practice last night,did you?'

Kid about report on alternative fuels being due today: 'I just couldn't summon up the energy to do it.'

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

Holiday Shopping for Guys

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'