School Project Procrastinator Gifts

'Write an essay on what I did last summer? Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

Serious Putty

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

"File!"

Good luck in your A Levels.

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

Studying and technology

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I put Wilson on your project and last I heard he was all over it!'

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"Of course there are still a few loose ends, funding...pensions...workload, but the good news is that we have got a concrete proposal for the new PCO letterheads!"