Home Project Procrastinator Gifts

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Bathroom DIY

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

D.I.Y with dad.

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

Serious Putty

Housewife: Out of Order.

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Studying and technology

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'I put Wilson on your project and last I heard he was all over it!'

Is your homework finished? It's almost a snow day. No way

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"Shall I kiss it better?"

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'