Paperwork Procrastinator Gifts

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"Every piece of paper you see is here for a reason: I haven't thrown it away."

"Fill out these 'new patient' forms, but leave 'age' blank, as you may age a year before you're done."

"I hate paperwork...."

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

"Of course there are still a few loose ends, funding...pensions...workload, but the good news is that we have got a concrete proposal for the new PCO letterheads!"

"File!"

"Why don't you just apply for a government bailout, Daddy?"

'Oh... I can get it for you yesterday... I can get it to you once tomorrow becomes yesterday!'

'I wish I could help you, but there's too much paperwork involved.'

Board of Censors.

Cat with two trays: 'Ignore Immediately' and 'Ignore Later'.

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

Dog in custody doing paperwork - 'Bit the wrong guy.'

WHILE YOU WERE OUT OF BODY...

"I'll get back to you later."

"This looks like a job for ... someone else."

In/Out/Can We Talk In The Morning?

A business man sits at his office desk with trays that read 'going once, going twice... and gone.'

"Why don't you come back in a couple of months? - I'll be retired then."

Security: In and Not So Fast.

'The Department of Motor Vehicles is here to make your phone inquiry quick and easy. Using your telephone keypad, enter your sixteen digit motorist ID, followed by your nine digit Social Security number, and your ten digit telephone number....'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

'Fill out two forms, and call me in the morning.'

'I told him he had to submit three copies.'

Department of Physical Education.

There are no accidents. At least, that's what Constable Bob believed. Too much paperwork.

'Get me another pen! This one I've got doesn't want to write you a raise!'

In, Out and Nobody gets hurt.

'I understand the need to estimate next year's home business expenses for the bank, but do you think they really care how many rolls of toilet paper we expect to purchase?'

'I'd like to see a little more procrastination back there.'

'Not eight hours a day, Hambone!'

'I can explain my excessive and unexplainable deductions. When I made out the return, I was at the lowest point in my biorhythm chart.'