Presentation Procrastinator Gifts

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

'We don't want to give the presentation. We don't know that much stuff.'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

Serious Putty

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

"File!"

Good luck in your A Levels.

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Working from home to-do list.

"Have you ever had one of those days when it would have been easier just to do some work?"

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Studying and technology

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

'I put Wilson on your project and last I heard he was all over it!'

Al, The Go-From Guy

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."