Bill Procrastinator Gifts

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

The Forever Stamp

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Inactive wear store.

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Working from home to-do list.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Shouldn't you be studying?

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

The Procrastinatorium.