Tax Aficionado Gifts

'We've merged.'

'And, of course, that one is my favorite trophy.'

'Don't be intimidated by his fifty million dollar salary...Just think of his as a guy with a tax problem.'

'I'm sorry, but to lower your taxes you're going to have to make more money.'

'My dad is an accountant so he deducts withholding tax on my allowance.'

"Sorry, folks, but I'll have to see your tax return."

'To a successful merger.'

'A hundred and ninety pounds!'

Yes, this is your VAT inspector.

"Your partners are here."

'Some of my income comes from stud fees, the majority comes from begging.'

'Oh yeah? How can I be sure it stands for Island Rescue Service?'

This position is called 'The Tax Collector'.

How much would coffee cost if they did pay tax?

Ursula von der Leyen

Inland Revenue

Frank tried to stay calm after hearing auditors can smell fear.

'The inspector will be with you in a minute - his present interview is taking longer than expected.'

'I don't think it's a good idea for you to claim the cost of steroids as a tax deduction.'

Pet Shops

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'Do we know you guys?'

'The way I pay tax, I'm not self employed. I'm employed by the tax department!'

'Miss Cobb, where's my large gouge?

'Will you just write it out for ?30,000 and dedicate it to the Inland Revenue?'

'Hold everything! - He hasn't paid his taxes yet!'

'Think Back'

"No, I didn't use Turbo Tax. I used Tebow Tax. I filed and prayed everything was okay."

'He's my accountant.'

'This rebate check isn't big enough for both of us.'

IRS man to Grim Reaper at the door: 'First me - then you...OK?'

Stimulus bust

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

'I feel sure I'm paying too little tax, who do I see about it?'

"It's not fair that we have to pay taxes on something we don't have - last year's income."