Tax Advice Aficionado Gifts

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

"Carpe De Revenue!"

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

New Improved I.R.S.

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

Budget reaction.

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

Stimulus bust

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'