Tax Banter Lover Gifts

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

New Improved I.R.S.

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

"Tell the press direct EU-taxation is necessary..."

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Is it true that you people give tax breaks for minority-owned businesses?'

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'