Tax Comedy Lover Gifts

"I'm afraid that any expenses incurred attempting to repair a broken heart are not tax-deductible."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

Tax relief

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"