Tax Comedy Lover Pillows

"I'm afraid that any expenses incurred attempting to repair a broken heart are not tax-deductible."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

Tax relief

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

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