Tax Comedy Enthusiast Pillows

'You can't deduct your TV as a medical expense, even if it does induce drowsiness, improve sleep patterns, and act as a mild sedative.'

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

Misunderstood Tax Adviser: Please Leave a Gift.

"I may have to give up this business. The gift taxes are killing me!"

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

tax

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'