Tax Comedy Pillows

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Yes, they are all dependants."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Can you start the rain now? I just got hit with the luxury tax for this boat."

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

tax

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

Tax relief

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."