Reluctant Taxpayer Gifts

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

Airline concerns.

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

'Dad, do you really think trying to sell me life insurance counts as quality time?'

There is not much left after deductions and taxes, is there, Rodney?

Why men hate shopping.

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

Travel Agents - Water, water, anywhere with water.

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

"No need to rush back to work. The office lad is doing your job."

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

'I said you needed to keep good business records...'

'Don't worry, Mom - I'll do my book report during the next commercial.'

'I didn't pay my taxes because I hate to start something I can't finish.'

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

'It's the only way I can get him to help me with the shopping.'

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

'Culture Time!'

Spot suffered from a rare case of reverse lycanthropy, where every full moon he would turn into a human and spend the night eating spaghetti, watching tv, and, like, doing taxes and stuff.

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."

'I hate flying. Thank God for terra firma ... or terra mushy ...'

'You may march to a different drummer, but you still have to pay the same piper.'