Reluctant Taxpayer Gifts

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

Airline concerns.

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

I just don't trust those self-flying brooms yet.

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

'Dad, do you really think trying to sell me life insurance counts as quality time?'

There is not much left after deductions and taxes, is there, Rodney?

Last day of home school.

Why men hate shopping.

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

Travel Agents - Water, water, anywhere with water.

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

'I didn't pay my taxes because I hate to start something I can't finish.'

'I said you needed to keep good business records...'

"No need to rush back to work. The office lad is doing your job."

'Don't worry, Mom - I'll do my book report during the next commercial.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

'It's the only way I can get him to help me with the shopping.'

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

'I hate flying. Thank God for terra firma ... or terra mushy ...'

'You may march to a different drummer, but you still have to pay the same piper.'

Spot suffered from a rare case of reverse lycanthropy, where every full moon he would turn into a human and spend the night eating spaghetti, watching tv, and, like, doing taxes and stuff.

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."