Reluctant Returners Gifts

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

The Boys of Indian Summer

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

Stop staring at that screen saver!

Airline concerns.

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

'Dad, do you really think trying to sell me life insurance counts as quality time?'

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

Summer Reading

Man Readig Paper

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

Travel Agents - Water, water, anywhere with water.

'Don't worry, Mom - I'll do my book report during the next commercial.'

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

"No need to rush back to work. The office lad is doing your job."

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

We're actually looking for someone who just wants to get out of the house.

'This getting fit is killing me.'