Tavern Tales Gifts

'Not you again. I thought you would've learned your lesson the last time.

'Oh, one of those tough guys with a mustache, eh?'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

The bigger they are, the harder they fall, but then the turbulence gets you!

Jolly Sailor - Warning: May contain old salts.

'You've had enough!'

'I finally got a grip on reality, and evidently I squeezed too hard.'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Joe's Bar, Get the Full Beer Experience.

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

"You look good for your age."

"You must be the new barmaid."

Joe's Bar - ask your doctor if Joe's bar is right for you!

Hugh - From Barnaby Rudge

Shanahan's

'This is a no-frills bar, pal -- You bring your OWN napkins!'

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

"There, but for the wrath of my wife, go I."

Child In A Bar.

Tuesday is drunken rant night. The noncommissioned officer is the backbone of this man's army!!!

'I used to do a lot of business over the phone, but as soon as Caller ID came along...'

Man leaving the tavern and realising he is late for dinner

'Old McAllister is a real crank -- he has a conspiracy theory about Tom Bodett.'

He was married. She could tell.

"I have a female landlubber in every port."

'How many experience points do I have? — I'm not that kind of girl!'

Joe's Bar, not for Sissies. Sissies, try Bruce's bar around the corner.

Joe's Bar - Not responsible for drunks left over 24 hours.

Why must you have "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" on the jukebox? A lot of people complained that "Happy Hour" was too happy.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero

Eddie's Tavern: Happy Despite The Current Situation Hour 2-7 PM.

'I finally found my inner child! He grew up and will soon be sitting on a bar stool!'

'Don't make me come down there.'