Tavern Tales Appreciator Gifts

'Well, they put the lantern in the steeple, but Paul had nodded off, so I said, 'Hey Paul...'.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Reasonableman

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

Jolly Sailor - Warning: May contain old salts.

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

Once upon a time and a half. William Tell shot an apple on his son's head. Plink! Nice shot, Dad! Plunk!

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

'You've had enough!'

"You look good for your age."

Elvis going to the 'House of 1/4 pounders near the 'House of gingerbread'

Prince trying to climb to Rapunzel. Has a wig in his hands.

"You must be the new barmaid."

Shanahan's

Hugh - From Barnaby Rudge

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

Tosca discovers Mario Cavaradossi is stabbed

Eight medieval characters from the Canterbury Tales.

Tuesday is drunken rant night. The noncommissioned officer is the backbone of this man's army!!!

"There, but for the wrath of my wife, go I."

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll leave you to it."

Man leaving the tavern and realising he is late for dinner

You didn't hear it from me, but the other hares in the office think you're getting your work done too quickly.

Joe's Bar, not for Sissies. Sissies, try Bruce's bar around the corner.

St. Patrick chases snakes from Ireland.

'How many experience points do I have? — I'm not that kind of girl!'

'Oh, one of those tough guys with a mustache, eh?'

Why must you have "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" on the jukebox? A lot of people complained that "Happy Hour" was too happy.

'I finally found my inner child! He grew up and will soon be sitting on a bar stool!'

'Size matters on the Podium.'

'Don't make me come down there.'

Little-know historical fact #058 - the Tarzan call origin. Tarzan as a boy, 1 second away from a super-wedgie.